Do you like things that go boom and vroom? Sometimes I do, but I usually like some realism too. The Transporter has lots of vroom, boom, and kick-ass martial arts, but very little realism. Of course, I didn’t expect much realism, but one can always hope.

As to the all-important plot, we have ex-military guy Frank Martin (Jason Statham, The One) working as a transporter in the French Rivera. He has three rules that help to keep him out of trouble: first, never change the plan; second, no names; and finally, never open the package. Various transport jobs include moving packages, or acting as the get-away car for a bank robbery. So far his rules have kept him safe, even with local inspector Tarconi (François Berléand) snooping around all the time (he knows what Frank does, but can’t prove anything). Then one day Frank takes a job from a guy nicknamed Wall Street (Matt Schulze, Blade 2) to haul a bag for him. Frank sticks to the plan and the rules until he gets a flat tire and has to get into the trunk where the package is kept. While pushing the bag out of the way he realizes that there is someone in the bag, and a little later he opens the bag to give the woman a drink, breaking his own rules. Big surprise, the woman is gorgeous, so he takes some pity on her and makes another stop so she can use the restroom. She flees, but he catches her and makes his delivery as planned. But, Wall Street can tell he opened the package, so he gives Frank another job transporting a small package, and unbeknownst to Frank, a very special package. While taking a pit stop Frank’s car explodes, which really pisses him off, since he now knows that the package was a bomb. So now he is out for revenge, and this is where most of the action starts, and the romance begins between Frank and the girl from the package, Lai (Qi Shu). Then throw in the Chinese Mafia led by Lai’s father Mr. Kwai (Ric Young, Kiss of the Dragon) with a subplot about immigrant slaves, and you get even more action with completely implausible martial arts scenes where Frank takes on five, six other guys and always wins. Implausible, but still entertaining.

Martial arts master Corey Yuen, a longtime Hong Kong film director, directs this picture. Writing credits go to Robert Mark Kamen and Luc Besson. Also in The Transporter are Doug Rand, Didier Saint Melin, Tonio Descanvelle, Cameron Watson, Audrey Hamm, and a bunch of people who get their asses kicked.

Now I can understand how Frank and Lai fall for each other (hormones), I can see how Frank could be a good enough driver to elude police, but I just can’t believe that Frank could be so skilled in martial arts to beat everyone, so then why in the hell didn’t someone just shoot him (I’m guessing because the movie wouldn’t be very long then). The only other thing I would ask for is better acting and maybe some topless shots of Qi Shu (I know, I’m a pig). As for the rating, I give The Transporter six couches out of ten on the About-Movies.com scale.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:47:58 AM

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