Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Movie Title: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Official Website (it might still work): Star Wars Episode II
Rating (out of 10): 4
Reviewed By: Michael Stevens
Buy the: Video/DVD \| Soundtrack
The Review:

I think I now understand why George Lucas made the final three episodes of the Star Wars epic before the first three – the first two are just so boring that he would never have been able to film the remaining episodes. Episode One was visually entertaining, and seeing old characters in earlier times was interesting, but the rest of the film was boring, or in the case of Jar Jar Binks, really annoying. Now comes Episode II, Attack of the Clones, another visually stunning video game (or is that movie?) that people have camped out for months waiting to get into the theatre (ever wonder what these people do for a living?). Will it live up to the original trilogy or fall flat on its ass like Phantom Menace? Only you can decide for yourself, but I say most of the film was as boring as watching that Jason Alexander sitcom last year.

As to the story, it begins about a decade after the last film left off. So writer-director Lucas has young Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen from Life As a House) all grown up and learning the ways of the Jedi, from Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor, Black Hawk Down). Also all grown up is Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman, Where the Heart Is), who is no longer the queen, but the Senator from Naboo. The action starts with an attempt on the life of the young Senator from some yet unknown faction. This attempt leads to a reunion of Obi-Wan & Anakin with Amidala, who are assigned to protect the Senator from evil forces. Of course, there is another attempt on her life, which fails, but provides valuable clues as to who is behind it. Also during this time we learn that the Republic is still enduring turbulent times as many solar systems have given their intentions of leaving the Republic (similar to the American Civil War) and joining with the evil Trade Federation (which you may recall was defeated in the last movie). This puts the Republic in a bit of a jam, since they posses no army, only Jedi Knights. So now the manipulative Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) wants emergency dictatorial powers that he promises to relinquish when the crisis passes (sounds like ancient Rome) so that he can create a Grand Army of the Republic. Plus Anakin goes on a quest to find his mommy, and still has time to court Amidala. Anyway, what Lucas is really doing is covering some background that we all need to know about the characters that are in Episodes III-VI, and getting everyone ready for Anakin’s transformation into the evil Darth Vader. Then finally with the last half-hour or so, the movie picks up speed from the snail’s pace of the first two hours, which many say saves the movie, but I don’t think it saves the movie, but it does make one look forward to the next installment.

Other characters hanging out in that galaxy far, far away are C-3PO (Anthony Daniels), Jango Fett (Temuera Morrison of Vertical Limit), Senator Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits), Captain Typho (Jay Laga’aia) Cliegg Lars (Jack Thompson, Original Sin), Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson, Changing Lanes) Count Dooku (Christopher Lee, Lord of the Rings I), and good old Yoda (Frank Oz, Monsters, Inc.).

As we wrap things up, I don’t think Episode II could stand on its own as a movie. First, most of the humor is only funny if you have seen all the other episodes and second with out the context of the other movies, things just wouldn’t make sense or have as much suspense. Granted most people have seen the other films, but a movie needs to stand on its own two feet. Also, the special effects are nice, but many of the graphics didn’t look realistic (i.e., the storm troopers). Finally, what really bugs me is that it appears that these people poses far better technology than the people who live in the later episodes, which is just plain wrong. So, all-in-all Episode II gets four couches out of ten.