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Large breasted women in tiny tight dresses, large visible erections, beautiful straight women performing lesbian acts, men in thongs (yuk), women lining up for sex, nursing mothers producing milk for hubby, and the librarian is a S & M master, and the list goes on. Tomcats written and directed by Gregory Poirier is for an audience of pre-adolescent boys but lets face it men you fit that category until you are 60. The humor is typical, the plot so so to really stupid and the acting, well remember Police Academy, ok enough said. Lets move on to the storyline or what can be called a story line. This film starts out with one the guys getting married at 19. His groomsmen form a "Tomcat" group to fuck all the women in the world and the last one married gets the "kitty". They each put up a large sum of money that is invested and eventually turns into a sizable pot. Lets go back to the wedding the brides father invented a drink that is much more potent than viagra, which is where is fortune came from. Well the bride's sister Tricia (Jamie Pressly, Can't Hardly Wait) pours this into a very large (get the idea large is the theme here) bottle of champagne meant for the happy couple. The groomsmen steal the bottle and drink it before the wedding. You got it the groomsmen and groom all have huge woodys during the whole ceremony and they all stand sideways. Okay lets move on, the plot now takes us to Las Vegas and a cheesy wedding chapel where one of the unlikely former groomsman is marrying Trica still hot (how did they get her eyes so damn LARGE?) Cut to the last two Tomcats Michael (Jerry O'Connell, Mission to Mars) and Kyle (Jake Busey, Enemy of the State) Micheal brought a date and Kyle who is coming close to fucking everything without a penis did not. Michael loses date because he fails to say those three little words (little? where did that come from?) Turns out those words are suck my dick. Well he gets over this fast and spots hot redhead who only goes for high rollers, off to the crap table where he proceeds to lose to the house on credit $50,000. Now Carlos (Bill Maher) the casino owner wants his money and gives him 30 to pay or die. Now boys have you figured out the plot from here? He needs to get Kyle married and fast to collect the Tomcat kitty. What you don't know is one of the former bridesmaid Natalie (Shannon Elizabeth, Scary Movie) will be the one to bring this Tomcat to the alter. Now with all that all you are missing is a ball and walnut scene that is disgusting, oh sorry, funny and more masturbating and then you have this movie. If you are female, or a boy over the age of 15 or act over the age of 15 then this movie is not all that funny, but hey if you plain just like potty humor then by all means waste, oh excuse me, spend $8.00 seeing this trash. Now for the rating, well lets just say this was not my type of film, and give Tomcats a one in the about-movies rating scheme of thangs. Buh bye. Last updated: Saturday, October 28, 2006 05:37:40 PM |
